How to Do Social Events When you Really Don't Want To
Yep, it’s that time of year again. The holidays are on the horizon, the mad rush to finish this year’s work is underway, and the Christmas party invites are coming in.
These end-of-year events can be a great place to network. They give us the chance to meet new clients and referrers, cement existing relationships, and let everyone know we’re out and about and going strong.
The extraverts among us are probably champing at the bit to get into these events and press the flesh. But for the introverts - or at least the less enthusiastic socialisers - the silly season can fast become the stressful season, as forced interaction on a grand scale gives rise to anxiety, trepidation and eventually exhaustion.
If this sounds like you, read on because introverts, I am one of you. Don’t get me wrong; I love people, and I love socialising - up to a point - but, like you, I find I’d be just as happy sitting at home with a soduko and a club sandwich. (And that’s exactly what I need to do after a few events).
With that in mind, I’m here to tell you that, with these tips, you won’t just get through the next couple of months; you may even find them both rewarding and - dare I say - enjoyable.
1. BE READY FOR SMALL TALK
My experience is that a lot of introverts don’t like small talk. I get that. But, armed with the tips below and the right background information, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to get through and have some stimulating conversation.
Read about the important role of Small Talk.
2. TALK ABOUT OTHERS
Another thing I find introverts often feel uneasy about is talking about themselves. But often they’re very good at recognising the ability of others. So, when it’s your turn to talk, be prepared to speak about the others in your firm. Be generous: arm yourself with their stories and use their experiences.
As Dale Carnegie (1937) once said you can make more friends in two months by being interested in others than in two years by trying to get people interested in you.
3. GET READY TO SPEAK ABOUT YOURSELF ANYWAY
I know this is probably going to make you decidedly uncomfortable, but you will still need to be prepared to talk about yourself at some stage in the proceedings. Again, this doesn’t have to be all about you though.
Think about what you’ve enjoyed and observed over the last year. Have some ’hero stories’ that you can use (these could also involve other people) that describe your firm in an interesting way.
And when you're asked what you do start your response take a tip from Simon Sinek, a guru on on inspiring people, and start with 'Why' you do what you do. Watch Simon explain how in this video (2:34 sec).
4. GET READY TO FAKE IT
I’m a big believer in the idea that you should ‘fake it till you make it’. So, even if you really don’t feel like going to that event, take a deep breath, pull those shoulders back, stand tall and look confident anyway. Research shows that your physical posture can trick your reserved brain into having fun.
Have a tactic for when you enter the room - like staying on the periphery at first where it’s cooler and less crowded. (Leave the bear pit to the extraverts). Use your time here to familiarise yourself with the layout and scout out a quiet place you can go to get away momentarily when you need to recharge.
5. HAVE A STRATEGY
When you do go into the fray, look for someone who you know or a group you can join.
The easiest way to join a conversation is to look for an odd number of people. And, if you find a group of three, with someone you know in it, you’ve hit the socialising jackpot.
Another tactic is to go into any situation with your glass half full - don’t ever have it topped up completely. That way, you’ll always have an escape plan if you need it. (“I just need to top up my drink - can I get you one?”)
And, when it is time to leave a big ballroom-event, don’t be afraid to do an Irish Goodbye and just disappear. Skip out when you need to and send an email to the people who matter the next day.
6. DO IT ON YOUR TERMS
Finally, my best piece of advice for end-of-year socializing is to do it on your terms. Arrive early with a buddy if you can and limit your time. Two hours will exhaust most introverts (and why events that involve a bus or a boat may not be everyone’s cup-of-tea).
Or hold your own social event, where you’re the one who invites people to a space you feel comfortable in, and at a time (maybe in the New Year?) and in a format with which you’re comfortable too.
Or find your tribe of quiet people at a big function and stake out a corner together.
That way, you’ll know exactly what you’re in for and you won’t have any of that unpleasant social anxiety that keeps you up at night.
Read more: 7 Tips to Making The Most the the Christmas Networking Period: A Survival Guide for Professionals
WANT MORE?
If you’d like to know more about successful networking for professionals, get in touch or book a private meeting with me to brainstorm ideas at BD45.
Sue-Ella is the Principal of Prodonovich Advisory, a business dedicated to helping professional services practices sharpen their business development practices.
She works with Law Firm and Business Consultants that focus on positive client relationships, and with individuals who want personal, intelligent support.
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