What To Do When You Lose A Bid And They Wont Tell You Why
Updated: February 2026 | Originally published: July 2022 | 8 min read
So, you’ve been invited to pitch for a new client - or at least an existing client you want to do more work for. Hooray! What an opportunity.
You put your heads down, work through the night and across the weekend, keep people from their families and hobbies, and burn a whole lot of billable time. And, in the end, when you’ve edited your submission about 25 times and finally handed it in, it all comes to nothing. And I mean a big fat nothing….
All you learn is that someone else got the job. You don’t know why you weren’t chosen or what you needed to do to get the nod. Worst of all, when you try to find out they simply won’t speak to you.
Ok, so, no one wins every pitch and nor should anyone expect to. But if the scenario above looks familiar. If you’ve been through a pitch loss and got nothing out of it other than a lot of wasted time and money, and a hollow, worthless feeling read on.
Because here are the seven things I think you need to do that will help you turn it all around.
THE 7-STEP RECOVERY FRAMEWORK
When you lose a pitch and receive no feedback, follow this process to extract value from the experience:
1. Speak Before You Pitch. Ask upfront if a debrief will be provided; if not, reconsider participating
2. Compare Yourself to the Winner. Conduct a SWOT analysis from the client's perspective
3. Focus on Past Wins. Analyze previous successful pitches to identify what worked differently
4. Get a Second Opinion. Seek peer review from bid experts, clients, or industry specialists
5. Get a Standard Approach. Maintain the relationship with a follow-up email template
6. Accept the World for What It Is. Recognize some decisions are illogical or influenced by hidden factors
7. Work Out Whether It Was Worth It. Conduct cost-benefit analysis to determine if similar pitches warrant future effort
The goal: Transform pitch losses into learning opportunities and strategic decisions about where to invest BD resources.
1. SPEAK BEFORE YOU PITCH (Ask For Feedback Commitment Upfront)
Let me begin by saying that there are a lot of pitches that simply aren’t worth pitching for. Sometimes that’s because you don’t have the skills or experience. And - let’s not beat around the bush here - sometimes it’s because the clients’ minds are already made up. There’s an incumbent who they want to keep and they have to justify why they’re keeping them. Your blood sweat and tears are just being used as a way to justify giving work to another.
You don’t want to be caught up in that kind of scenario, so ask beforehand whether the tender process is open, how many other firms are pitching, whether there’s an incumbent and what they’re looking for in the new appointee. Sure, you might not get answers to all these questions, but you won’t gain anything by not trying to find out.
While you’re at it, you also need to ask if you’ll be getting a debrief once a decision is made. If you’re going to the effort to put together a full-on pitch, the least the potential client can do is let you know who they’ve chosen and why they’ve made their decision - especially if it’s not you. That way, if you do lose, you’ll have the permission you need to contact them afterwards.
If they’re not prepared to give it, think twice about proceeding right from the outset.
2. COMPARE YOURSELF TO THE WINNER (Conduct a S.W.O.T. Analysis)
Whenever you lose a pitch, find out who won and compare yourself to them. This might be uncomfortable but stay confident and open - you want answers. If these other guys have done it, it’s your job to find out how you can too.
So do a proper SWOT analysis of you and your winning rival from the client’s point of view. Where are your strengths and weaknesses compared to them? Where are the opportunities to improve? Have they really out-skilled you - in which case, do you need to think about how you can recruit or train to match or beat them. Or have they simply outsold you? If that’s the case, think about how you can better represent what you do, show off your experience and tell your story next time around.
3. FOCUS ON PAST WINS
Any sports psychologist will tell you about the importance of focusing on wins rather than losses. I think the same goes for your work. Yeah, so, you may have lost this one but what about past pitches? Think back to when you won. What did you get right? Why did they choose you? And what was different this time around?
It may be that you’ve forgotten something that got you across the line last time. Should you have inserted a little bit of that magic - or grit - this time? Or was it that you were up against a different opponent or were being judged differently? Is there something that you needed to be more adaptable with?
4. GET A SECOND OPINION
As professionals, sometimes we can get too close to the detail. If you’re racking your brains trying to figure out why you didn’t win, it could be that you can’t see the forest for the trees. Maybe it’s time to get the opinion of someone else in your firm and ask them what they thought about the decision (ask them for honesty, not a sugar-coated answer) and what they would do differently.
Better still, why not try to get a peer review of your tender? If you have a bid expert who knows your firm, a procurement expert who knows the client’s industry, a super-friendly alumna or client or referrer who’s close to the business, get their opinion on your submission.
Most of all, find out why they (as in your good clients) use you. They might have a completely different view of you and what you should be highlighting about your services than what you represented in the pitch.
5. GET A STANDARD APPROACH (Template For Maintaining Relationships)
Losing a pitch doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship, you know. I’m a firm believer that, if the organisation rejecting you is one you really want as a client, you should be keeping up the dialogue and showing them what they’re missing out on.
So swallow your pride and stay in touch. Have a standard email ready to go: one that lets them know what you learnt from the experience and that you’ll be inviting them along to seminars or including them on round tables. If there’s something worth fostering here then it’s important you close the loop but not the relationship. Make it easy for them to come back to you in the future.
6. ACCEPT THE WORLD FOR WHAT IT IS
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches,”
said business entrepreneur and burlesque artist Dita Von Teese. How right she was.
Sometimes, you know, it’s not you, it’s them. Perhaps the decision to reject you wasn’t logical or even right. Maybe there was something going on in the background you didn’t know about (see 1 above about the incumbent). Maybe the client was biased. Maybe they didn’t actually know what they were doing. Maybe it was a present for someone. Or maybe the decision maker is a robot and AI hasn’t caught up with debriefs, yet.
So don’t bash yourself up. Just accept that sometimes there will be decisions that make no sense at all. This could simply have been one of them.
7. WORK OUT WHETHER IT WAS WORTH IT (Cost-Benefit Analysis)
The final step to analyse after any pitch is whether this was time well spent. If the same opportunity came up tomorrow with the same - or a similar client - would you do it all again?
That’s especially important now that you’ve analysed what it would have taken to win. If you put in that effort and did whatever it took, would you really have moved the dial?
The real finding from your loss may actually be that you shouldn’t be pursuing this kind of work - you’d be much better off spending your time and money elsewhere. After all, we only have a finite amount of both of them, so you’ve got to be selective in your focus.
I’m a big fan of doing a proper cost-benefit analysis on all our BD efforts. So if your final finding is that the costs here far outweighed any benefit you would have gained, your post-loss research conclusion could well be, let’s never touch one of these things again…
And in that case, who cares about losing at all?
A PLEA TO PROFESSIONAL SERVICES BUYERS…
Your lawyers, advisers and consultants know you have choices and competing demands so be upfront if things don’t pan out.
Please don’t ghost them after you’ve asked them for a pitch or to scope some work. Not only is it disheartening for professionals who take pride in their work, but it’s dumb for business if it shuts off future supply options. That’s the tip from the procurement experts: Your organisation’s purchasing practices should de-risk your organisation’s supply chain.
Common Questions
Q: Should I ask for feedback before submitting a pitch or tender?
A: Yes, absolutely. Before investing time in a pitch, ask if the client will provide a debrief regardless of the outcome. If they refuse, seriously reconsider participating - you're investing resources without the learning opportunity that makes losing worthwhile.
Q: How do I find out who won the pitch I lost?
A: Ask the client directly, check industry news, review LinkedIn updates from competing firms, or ask your network. Knowing who won allows you to conduct a competitive analysis and understand what the client valued.
Q: What should I do if a client ghosts me after a pitch?
A: Use a standard follow-up template that closes the loop but not the relationship. Express what you learned, invite them to future events, and keep them in your ecosystem. Don't take it personally. Maintain professional dignity and stay available for future opportunities.
Q: How do I know if a pitch was worth the effort?
A: Conduct a proper cost-benefit analysis. Calculate hours invested (including opportunity cost of billable work), what you learnt and the connections you made. Then assess what winning would have actually delivered, and determine if you'd pursue similar opportunities again. If costs far outweigh benefits, that's valuable intelligence about where NOT to invest BD resources.
Q: When should I decline to participate in a pitch or tender?
A: Decline when: there's an entrenched incumbent (you're being used for justification), the client won't commit to providing feedback, you lack the specific expertise required, or the decision-making process appears opaque or biased. Your BD resources are finite - be selective.
WANT MORE?
If you’d like to know more about how to win business, get in touch.
REFERENCES & FURTHER READING
By Sue-Ella - How To Follow Up With Someone Who’s Ignoring You?
Chartered Institute of Procurement & Supply (CIPS) Ethical Tender practices Intelligence Hub
Holden Advisors (2022) How One Seller Recovered from Getting Ghosted and Doubled Their Deal Size
Kraljic P (1983) Purchasing Must Become Supply Chain Management, Harvard Business Review, September Issue
Supply Management (2014) How to Tell A Supplier That Their Tender Has Been Unsuccessful – a Q&A on procurement.
SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) Analysis for your practice https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_05.htm
Sue-Ella Prodonovich
Sue-Ella is the Principal of Prodonovich Advisory, a business dedicated to helping professional services practices sharpen their business development practices.
She works with law and accounting firms on Business Development strategy and support structures, leadership and professional-development programs, and designing client-listening initiatives.
She also co-facilitates firm planning retreats and delivers public workshops such as Business Skills for Lawyers.
Through her BD45™ service, she assists individuals with their personal business-development plans.
Connect on LinkedIn or visit prodonovich.com.au
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